idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
