Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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