Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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