i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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