I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
