We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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