I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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