I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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