i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
