found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
