i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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