Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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