Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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