I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?