i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
