i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
