Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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