some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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