We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Mom said you looked used
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Drunk is not a location!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
