She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
