just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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