I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize