Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
