I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
