You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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