if you like me you must not know who I am
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
