i would punch a child for taco bell
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Omg I joined a choir last night...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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