kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
