You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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