Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Less talking, more tequila
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This is my gift to your gina
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
