I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
