I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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