...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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