I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
