I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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