I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he fucked my hip out of place.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
