i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
