Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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