the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
