Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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