just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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