I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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