If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
