Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
