It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
