Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
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