I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
