My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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