the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
