check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
