im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
