somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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