Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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