There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
