Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
