You made me cry and you don't even care
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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