If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
